The Importance of a Pat On the Back

This Little Gesture Can Inspire Even After a Dressing Down

Never underestimate the value of a pat on the back.  Whether it comes from a parent, a coach, a teacher or a teammate, this simple act of appreciation goes much farther than most people realize. 

When I was a kid playing youth ball in a small community, I had the same coach for basketball and football.  His name was Addison Marable.  He was short, squatting and overweight.  He also had more passion for coaching kids than perhaps anyone I’ve ever encountered in sports.  He was a hard-nosed old cuss.  He’d scream and yell at the smallest and biggest kids on the field, including me.  If we messed up, he was in our grills letting us know about it in no uncertain terms.  His words made parents on the sidelines cringe.  Then, as he was walking away from us after a good tongue lashing, he always, always made a statement and then did something which made the us forget the yelling:  “I know you can do better.”  Then, he would pat us on the back.  It worked every time.  We would forget about the messenger and remember the message.  He was saying, “You can do it.  I have confidence in you.”   It made the world of difference in the results he got from us. 

Athletes and coaches would do well to learn from that lesson from a real old ball coach.  Good or bad, the players on your team are yours to live with.  They know if they are contributors or not.  They know who’s going on to play at the next level.  But, none of that matters.  What counts is that in the very moment of trying to succeed that the coaches and players appreciate the effort and want the player to succeed. 

It’s not a hard thing to do.  Give it a shot.