How to help a malcontent athlete find the right path

National Scouting Report scouts use the same criteria as college coaches to select prospects. It is not uncommon for NSR scouts to see really talented athletes but choose not to approach for an interview because the athletes can’t seem to get out of their own way.  More times than not, those prospects lose out on the incredible opportunity to become college student-athletes.

You know the type: They complain about practices, coaches, dugouts, uniforms, playing surfaces, weather conditions, opponents, game officials, you name it.

These malcontents are that way for a reason — they have always been allowed to be that way with no consequences.  Either through their own stubbornness or over-lenient parents, relatives, friends and coaches, they have learned that being a grouch is the only way they can get attention or get their way.  And a lifetime of acting that way has turned into a habitual personality trait — a bad one.

In defense or out of frustration, someone on the team may make a snide remark or snaps back in anger, but that usually only creates more tension. Then, after things settle down, the malcontent’s bad behavior comes back with a vengeance.

Some people see the problem, want to help, but the seemingly never ending cycle of eventually discourages them from intervening.  In the end, if not corrected, these athletes are abandoned and left to survive on an island unto themselves.  It doesn’t have to be that way.

So, how can you help that constant complainer?

Here are some suggestions:

• Love and appreciation: As simple and trite as it may seem, sometimes all a disgruntled athlete needs is an arm around the shoulder. The athlete just wants to be appreciated and, yes, loved.  When he or she receives those things from coaches and teammates, the anger sometimes evaporates just because the athlete are happy.
• Setting attitude expectations: A poor-behaving player sometimes just needs to learn how to be on a team. Some athletes never have been taught this essential part of sports. Coaches should set attitude expectations for the team — before, during and after competition. Some rough-around-the-edges athletes smooth their own sharpness when they find out beforehand that what they are accustomed to doing will not work in a team setting.  (The aame goes for team parents.)
• Consequences: A coach can establish all the rules imaginable, but if those rules are not backed up with expressed positive and negative consequences, they will be ineffective.  Many people think that talking about consequences is all about the negative. They are wrong. It is critical that a coach lets his or her team know the positive consequences that come with following expectations.  If that means part of the deal is getting a second chance, then say it up front.
• Consistency: It is inevitable that some athlete sooner or later, intentionally or by mistake, will cross the line. The way that athlete is handled could hold the key to a great or long season. Everyone is watching. They want to know if those lines drawn are real or in the sand only to be redrawn with every new incident.