Part VI in a series: How far from home are you willing to go to achieve your dream of playing college sports?

Distant scholarships are tough to take for student-athletes unprepared to leave home

I once sat outside in a gazebo with a single-parent father and his softball-playing daughter. For our appointment, she had surprised me by preparing a delicious dinner that the three of us enjoyed as we gazed across the Western North Carolina mountainscape and chatted. My interview of her, intermingled with her proud father’s commentary about college recruiting and her extraordinary athletic talents, was as pleasant an interview I can recall in my eight-plus years as an on-the-ground scout for National Scouting Report.

As was part of my routine in these conversations, I arrived at the part where the question was raised, “How far from home are you willing to go to play college softball?” Before she could get the first word out, her father took over saying, “We want her to be no more than a couple of hours from here so that I can go watch her play as often as possible.”  The short, uncomfortable silence afterward was thankfully interrupted by the telephone ringing in the house. The dad jumped up and walked across the lawn while declaring over his shoulder, “Sorry, but I’ve been waiting on a call. That’s probably it.” The prospect and I sat for a moment watching as he entered the house. Then, as soon as the screen door closed, she leaned over to me and whispered as frankly and seriously as a seventeen-year-old can, “Get me as far away from here as you can. Washington state is not far enough.”

Today I chuckle at that comment because it didn’t come from fear, as some cynics might assume, but from a young woman from a small, tight-knit community that wanted unbridled freedom. Yet, six months later, after the NSR home office and I had gotten her real interest from a dozen or so college softball coaches west of the Mississippi, I received a call from her. “Remember when I said that I wanted to go as far away from home as possible? Well, I would rather be closer to home.”

“How much closer?”  I asked.

“A lot closer.  As graduation gets nearer and as I’m talking to these coaches across the country, I’ve come to realize that I just can’t see myself being that far from here and not being able to come home whenever I want to.”

Over the years I’ve seen that same story repeated time after time with young athletes. When they are freshmen, sophomores and even juniors, the world seems wide open to them. A trip across three of four states to play college sports and the impact of being away from home hasn’t, well, hit home. Then when reality crashes through their door, when they come face to face with not being able to reach out and touch their lifelong friends, parents and the safe haven of their house, they buckle under the strain and threat of losing the only real safety net they’ve ever known.

For that reason, it is imperative that high school student-athletes aspiring to play college sports begin taking unofficial visits to campuses, near and far away, as soon as is feasible. Driving or flying long distances to far off campuses should be an integral part of the recruiting decision making process for anyone considering leaving home for a “distant scholarship.” Prospects that are comfortable with being sequestered hundreds, if not thousands, of miles from Mom and Dad will confirm the notion with one or perhaps two such sojourns. Those whose sensibilities are not as secure in long-distance commuting will also have their feelings confirmed or they will be flipped on their ear.  Either way, you will know.  Perhaps most importantly, these unofficial visits begin the learning curve about college life and create in the prospect’s mind’s eye which setting is more appealing, small or large, urban or suburban, intense or relaxed, demanding or easy.   

Prospects that wait until their senior year in high school to undertake this distance due diligence can be in for a world of hurt when the time comes for choosing among their options. We see too many solid high school athletes that, assuming they can handle the transition and shock of leaving home for the first time, turn tail and run away from the most exciting opportunity of a lifetime because they weren’t prepared emotionally to finally scoot out from underneath mamma’s apron.

At National Scouting Report, we are constantly reminding our prospects to test the terrain out of their comfort zones and to discover if they are ready to stand on their own two feet without their parents and friends alongside them. It’s a difficult thing for many and the only way to learn where you are in that process is to take the plunge once or twice when there’s no damage to be done if it’s not the right time for you to be running off into a world too far from home.

Oh, and the young woman in the gazebo? She played softball for a year at a school three hours from home, quit the sport and transferred to a university 30 minutes from home and Daddy where she graduated with honors.